


Da(y)t Me.

by CGotAnAccount



Series: ADVENTure Is Out There! [23]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Cultural Differences, FWB Katt, Fake Dating, Katt - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-25 04:53:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21910258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CGotAnAccount/pseuds/CGotAnAccount
Summary: “Hey, Holt,” Keith yells into the apartment as he barges in, not bothering to knock or call or do anything that normal socially well-adjusted humans do when they come over uninvited. “I need you to date me for like a day.”
Relationships: Matt Holt/Keith
Series: ADVENTure Is Out There! [23]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1558660
Comments: 21
Kudos: 137





	Da(y)t Me.

**Author's Note:**

> Day 23!

“Hey, Holt,” Keith yells into the apartment as he barges in, not bothering to knock or call or do anything that normal socially well-adjusted humans do when they come over uninvited. “I need you to date me for like a day.”

It's a testament to their long and twisted friendship that neither of them bat an eye when he finally finds Matt, shaving his balls with a foot up on the sink, door wide open.

“What for?” Matt quirks an eyebrow at him, not bothering to drop his foot or attempt to cover the dangling of his goods. “Are you getting unsolicited marriage proposals again?”

“Ugh, no.” Keith shudders, face twisting as he recalls that awkward few months after Star Connection had published him as one of the universe's most eligible bachelors. “Those stopped after mom put a public hit out on one of them... but it's nearly as bad.”

Matt makes a sound of interest and rolls his wrist for Keith to continue as he goes back to polishing the family jewels.

“It's just...” Keith shuffles from one foot to the other, uncomfortable enough to get Matt to glance up again, razor poised. “Well... there's this diplomat that keeps coming around, and he keeps insisting that it's inappropriate to attend social functions without my 'mate', but I don't know what he's talking about... and I tried to tell him that but he laughed at me and told me to bring him along.”

Keith's pacing the hallway now, clearly agitated as he wrings his hands. Social situations never were his forte – throwing alien cultures into the mix has only made the frustrated floundering worse.

“Did you tell him that humans don't have mates?” Matt asks, cleaning up the last strokes and cupping himself to admire his work. “And that you're a strong independent paladin who doesn't need a man?”

“Maybe?” Keith cringes, barely acknowledging Matt's antics as he drags a hand through his hair. “But I guess it's a Galra thing, and mom said that his species are relentless and can smell lies so I might as well just bring someone along, but...”

“Ah, but you're awkward and antisocial.” Matt nods, drying himself off like he's flossing between his legs before slinging the cloth onto the drying rack with all the other hand towels. “Say no more, Kitten. Matt is here to be your star crossed lover.”

Keith stares at the towel in mute horror for a moment, wondering how many times he's dried his hands on similarly fated rags. In the end it doesn't really matter though because he needs Matt in all his gross and wonderful glory if he's going to get through this without causing an intergalactic incident.

Plus he's had his mouth all up in there under less than savory circumstances, so it's not like a little bit of ball toweling will kill him.

_But still_.

“You're an animal,” he sighs, reaching out to tug Matt into a hug. “I'm dating a feral raccoon.”

“Pft.” Matt rolls his eyes but goes easily into the embrace, making sure to rub his dick on Keith's thigh with a wiggle of his eyebrows. “I think that's my line... you've been the feral one for like a decade – people here think I've got my shit together.”

Keith's bark of laughter is almost offensive as he reaches down the smack Matt's ass affectionately.

“Matt, no one on this planet thinks you've got your shit together.” He pulls back to hold him at arms length, eyes shining with mirth as he quirks a disbelieving eyebrow at the nude man before him. “They literally quarantined you in a lab away from the rest of the base... they didn't even do that to Pidge.”

Grumbling, Matt pries the long fingers off his shoulders and wanders out into his kitchen, not bothering with modesty as he plops his ass down on a stool.

“That's total bullshit though,” he grumbles and snags a package of crackers from a jar, scattering crumbs as he rips it open haphazardly. “She's way more prone to destroying things than I am, she just looks innocent.”

“Well,” Keith chimes in, snatching one of the crackers from him and crunching over his protests, “Then try to be cuter I guess.”

He shrugs, utterly unsympathetic as Matt gapes at him.

“Rude!” Matt gasps, spraying crumbs into his own lap. “You can't say things like that to your boyfriend.”

Keith snorts, spraying crumbs of his own, and grabs Matt's hand to tug him into the bedroom.

“Come on, _sweetheart_ ,” he drawls, all fake sap and wicked smirks. “Come mark me up before tomorrow's dinner.”

And really, what kind of boyfriend would Matt be to turn him down in his time of need?

The dinner itself isn't too bad, Matt was required to attend anyway as one of the newly minted ambassadors for the ragtag group of rebels that were left – not that the rebels thought that they needed ambassadors, but apparently the Coalition at large had decided they wanted a neat little package to show off their fragments. The worst part by far is dealing with Pidge's face when they walk in together, arm in arm.

She's on them in a second, crowing at them and cackling at the red mark high on Matt's throat accompanied by the proprietary arm around Keith's waist as they do their best to pretend they are at least romantically inclined.

“Are you two gonna be making googly eyes at each other all night?” She teases, wiggling her eyebrows with a vicious grin. “Because you're just soooo in love, I can see it oozing off you.”

“Can it, gremlin,” Keith mutters, fingers clenching into Matt's jacket as he cranes his neck – peering through the crowd for his particularly troublesome gnat. “We only have to fool one stranger for one night.”

“And technically-” Matt chimes in, helpfully planting his hand right on Keith's ass and squeezing. “We're not even fooling anyone – he asked me to be his boyfriend and I said yes.”

“For a day,” Keith grunts, unruffled by the unabashed groping. “Boyfriend for one day.”

“Semantics.”

Pidge shakes her head as they bicker like an old married couple, hands still roaming casually without shame.

“Riiight,” she drawls, looking around for company that's both more sane and less blatantly gross. “Well, good luck with that whole... whatever.”

Then she's scurrying away, probably to go tell Hunk that they've finally fallen off the deep end... but Keith can't really care about that, not when he sees two of the six eye stalks he's been looking for swivel his way.

“Shit, there he is.” He wraps his arm lower on Matt's waist, fingers curling over his hip bone and grazing his belt loops. “Act natural.”

“Natural isn't what we're going for, Kitten,” Matt snickers as he lets his hand drift from ass to shoulder blades and back again in a slow sweep. “Natural is me throwing you on that table and riding you into an early grave.”

The blush that creeps up Keith's ears is as adorable as it is hilarious, and Keith closes his eyes to count to ten.

“Fine,” he grits out, fingers digging in uncomfortably hard as he spins Matt around to face him. “Then act like I'm going to set Kosmo loose in your apartment for a week if this doesn't work.”

Matt wrinkles his brow and starts to protest, but it's swallowed down by Keith's mouth on his – a sudden bruising kiss that has him clutching Keith's lapels with a surprised whimper. It doesn't faze Keith in the slightest as he walks them backward, pushing Matt up against a support pillar in front of everyone they've ever needed to impress and then some. He licks into Matt's mouth, hot and dirty in a way that has Matt chasing the kiss when he breaks away to breathe – all flushed cheeks and swollen lips.

“Holy shit, Kitten.”

“My, my...”

Matt tips his head out to squint at the alien behind them, clearly too nosy for its own good.

“Can we help you?” His voice is about as graveled as it gets and Keith lets out a huff of amused laughter as he laces their fingers together and quirks a meaningful eyebrow. Matt catches on fairly quickly. “I'm trying to have a moment with my boyfriend here.”

“I see that.” Three of the eye stalks blink at him, unnerving toothy smile never wavering as the alien flutters several of its appendages around. “You are the black paladin's mate?”

Keith looks like he's about two seconds from ramming his face through the pillar behind Matt's back.

“I am.” Matt nods, wrapping both arms around Keith's waist and dragging their hips flush. He's far too pleased with himself to find Keith half hard in his slacks already. “And you are?”

“Ah! How rude of me.” The eyes droop as the alien gives a half bow, revealing another row of eyes down its back. “I am Thi'lak, ambassador from Frilaxia... I had spoken to your mate earlier, but forgot your species does not mind meld.” He blinks again, slower this time as his eyes linger low on Matt's hands. “I did not know your mating rituals were public.”

Keith drops his head to Matt's neck with a choking sound, fingers firmly clamped into his ass like he might accidentally let go and strangle someone important. Like an ambassador.

“Well, you know how it goes,” Matt chirps, utterly unfazed as he hooks his chin over Keith's shoulder and lets his fingers glide along the top of well fitted slacks. “Sometimes you just can't control the urge to mark up your mate.”

“Indeed.” Thi'lak cocks his head, peering intently at Keith's exposed neck where his hair has been pulled into a bun. He flashes a set of sharp teeth. “And yet you have not marked him, nor are you marked yourself, why is that?”

Keith tenses likes he's going to pull away and give the guy a mark of his own, but Matt clamps tight to his hips with a manic smile.

“That's considered a bit barbaric in our culture,” Matt drawls, widening his smile to show off his teeth. “Humans have mostly blunt teeth and a mouth full of bacteria... we use precious metals to make ceremonial jewelry... but you can see we've made an attempt at appeasing cultural differences.”

He hooks a finger into the back of Keith's collar and tugs it down, revealing the bruises and indent of his own bite left earlier.

“My mating bite is in a more... delicate... place.”

Matt's wicked grin is in full force as he raises his eyebrows and moves to tap his fingers on the inside of Keith's thigh with a meaningful look.

“I see.” The eye stalks rear back and his greenish skin tinges blue. “My apologies then, ambassador. I meant no ill will toward you or your mate with my advances.”

Matt nods solemnly back, fighting down the urge to snicker as Keith seethes into his shoulder.

“No harm done.” He sticks one hand out to shake, doing his best not to grimace as one slimy appendage coats his palm with... something. “Anyway, we'd best be getting back to our official duties now, don't you agree?”

The alien nods, thoroughly chagrined as he slithers away through the crowd, leaving Matt to blow out a breath of relief and smear his slimy hand down his pants.

“That wasn't so bad now was it, Kitten?”

“I hate you.” Keith grunts, disentangling them to yank his collar back up, cheeks violently red. “You can't bite me because of mouth bacteria? Really?”

“Hey!” Matt huffs, crossing his arms and nudging Keith's shoe with his own in a display of petulant offense. “Most aliens are super skeeved out by bacteria, it could cause mass extermination of their species without the proper vaccines – it's practically a threat!”

Keith scrubs a hand down his face and shakes his head, turning to see who all caught a glimpse of their little show.

Pidge, Hunk, and Lance wave merrily at them from the punch table – right next to his visibly amused mother and Colleen Holt. Shiro seems to have spilled punch down his uniform and is occupied scrubbing it out – hopefully he missed the entire episode.

He's going to have to move off world after this.

“Well,” he sighs, stuffing one hand in his pocket and offering the other arm Matt. “At least that's one less thing to worry about, right?” He smiles down at him when Matt loops his arm through his, setting off to do damage control with the gossip grapevine. “Thanks, man.”

Matt smiles back up at him, a mischievous and self-satisfied quirk of the mouth as he catches sight of his own proprietary claim on the back of Keith's neck. It makes him flush with a strange sense of pride, one he doesn't bother to push down as they stride, arm in arm, toward their inevitable dragging.

“Anytime, boyfriend.”


End file.
